Friday ends another week

And so ends another week. It has been a good week but Friday always leaves me feeling a little disappointed. I enjoy what I do during the week. I enjoy working with the young people that I invest so much of my time with. But Friday always feels like there should be something special about the day. And, truth be told, there rarely is something special about it. It is usually just another night of being alone. Sometimes I spend the night with the computer, sometimes I read and/or watch television but that about is it. I remember the days when I would go out to a concert, to be with friends and just to relax and celebrate the end of a week and the beginning of a weekend. That is eons ago now, but I still remember and I still wish I could have some of the things I left behind. Being married to Larry is a lonely thing and Friday's make me feel the emptiness more than any other day I think. It is enough to make a person not like weekends!

I remmber as a young person not liking summer vacation. You would get out of school and then go home and work. I never saw any of my friends from the day school got out until the 4th of July, and then not again until the fair and the beginning of another school year. I used to dislike that so much. Always left me wishing school would go on year round so that I could see friends and have interactions.

One would think that kind of beginning would leave me in good stead to fend off the loneliness and it does most of the time. It is just the times when I can not muster the strength to look at another hour alone.

That is pretty much why I gained weight. I found a companion in food. I could eat and it made the pain a little less obvious. But now I am trying so hard to loose the weight and these long lonely evenings make it even more difficult. I do OK most of the time but not well enough to have the weight come off quickly. A pound a week seems to be my lot. But I feel better now than I did 40 pounds ago. I can move much easier and that is a good thing. Doesn't help the lonely times but at least I feel better.

Enough....I will go read until I am tired and then go to bed.